I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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