Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize