Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
