It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
