The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I puked a lego.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
