She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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