Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
