There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
