Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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