It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
