If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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