I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize