That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
