Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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