dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
