i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize