I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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