I can tuck mytits in my pants
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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