Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
