Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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