they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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