i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
