i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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