im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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