btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
