the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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