dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
