Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
