I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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