i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
