wanna go halves on a baby?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
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