My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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