Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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