I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
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My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
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Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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