It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
