I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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