Can i not drive my cunt home
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
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