Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
