Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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