are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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