you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
