Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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