you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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