There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize