You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
if only i could text you this smell
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
