these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
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I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
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I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
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