Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
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I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
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Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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