Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
