Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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