Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
