forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
