This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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