Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
