did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
