I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize