She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
