Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
