Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
