you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
i need to put some appletini on your dick
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
