guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
