My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
