i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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