I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
