I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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