I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
