something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize