I must be too annoying 4 u.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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